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Firing Band Members

March 19, 2009

Firing people sometimes needs to be done. You know when it needs to be done – it’s a feeling in your gut that this person isn’t working out.

Be honest with the member you’re firing. Don’t build it up to something more than it is. Yes, you are friends, but what you’re dealing with is your dreams. Don’t let anything hold you back.

Explain your reasoning, and if it’s valid, the person will understand. “We want to tour, and you can never get time off work,” or “We want to practice more then you can.” Be upfront, but have respect for the person. Even if it’s messy, it’s for the best. This is your dream, so make sure you have the best co-pilots possible.
Here are some more tips to make it easier for everyone involved:

  1. Do it in person, this is a must.
  2. Ask them what they really want from the band.
  3. Ask them if they think their actions mesh with what they want from the band.
  4. Point out how their actions don’t mesh with the band and hold your ground.
  5. Use ‘I (or rather ‘we’) statements’ for instance, WE feel that you aren’t attending enough jams (rather than – we feel that YOU are spending too much time with your significant other). WE want to tour but feel that WE aren’t seeing the same level of commitment to the idea from you.
  6. ‘I’ statement are great at not blaming people and yet not making them feel defensive (it’s hard to be defensive when someone is telling you how THEY feel about something, rather than pointing fingers).

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 20, 2009 1:58 am

    It seems to me that some of your I statements are still directed in the YOU direction, making them feel aggressive.

  2. March 20, 2009 2:37 am

    That’s debatable, but in any case you’ve got to be honest and you’ve got to spin it some way.

  3. March 20, 2009 4:29 am

    yeah, ultimately there has to be some ‘yous’ in there or they won’t know who you’re talking about…the main thing is not even the personal pronouns, but where it’s coming from. When someone is explaining how something comes across to them, how they feel about something, what their perspective is, instead of making guesses at the other persons motives, attitudes, etc it comes across as much more reasonable and minimizes defensiveness, anger, etc. (Id feel pissed off if someone was telling me what I think or do). Helps open or maintain a dialogue instead of closing things down.

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